2014: Year in Review

How does 365 days fly by like that?? Here are the major things that happened in 2014 for me:

February 2014 – My boss tells me that we are merging offices from Hickory to Mocksville. So instead of commuting 1.5 hrs to Hickory… I can do the same commute on another set of highways towards Winston-Salem. Oh joy… How do I get so lucky??

March/April 2014 – My family lost my grandfather. He passed away at the end of March. It was so sudden and no one saw any signs that it was his time to go. Thankfully he didn’t suffer and was able to pass on in his sleep. We laid him to rest in early April. I was also invited to my last ACCESS dinner with Chancellor Peacock since he was retiring in July 2014. So the ACCESS program threw him one last hurrah dinner with the scholarship that he and so many others help put into place so that students could attend a 4 year university, debt-free. Thank you for everything Grandfather William and Chancellor Peacock!

July 2014 – Remember when I learned that I would be working out of Mocksville? My thought process immediately at the time was to start looking for places to live so my 1.5 hr commute would become a 20 min one. I told my best friend Brittany about the exciting opportunity so she job hunted from February to late July. We brought on another roommate to the mix. We found the perfect house in a great location and Brittany was able to land a job in Greensboro! As for me… I learned that I would be working in Charlotte with the web development company my employer hired as I was dotting my i’s and crossing my t’s on a rental contract for the house. JUST. MY. LUCK.

October 2014 – I attended a wedding with my roommates. Our friend Kelly said her I do’s on a beautiful day in October because fall weddings in my opinion are the best. So many warm colors with the leaves changing. Everyone looked great and my two roommates were bridesmaids so it was fun to see all the pictures and the fun that was being had. The reception had all kinds of fun stuff such as a photo booth, candy bar, and to top it off, a zombie routine dance that everyone seemed to have enjoyed. Kelly and her husband are a great pair and I am so happy for them.

Needless to say my 2014 was a wide range of events and emotions. It still feels very surreal not having my grandfather around. I just hope he is in a better place and is not judging us too hard from wherever he is. The most inconvenient thing that happened in 2014 was my struggle to move out of Charlotte away from my parents only for my employer to tell me to hang back in Charlotte… No big deal… It is not like I am paying for a house I hardly live in or anything like that. I just had to deal with the cards that life dealt me and make the best of that situation. Here’s to 2015! A better year that will allow me to get my life in order somewhat…

All moved in… sort of

Guess who finally made the move to Winston Salem?! THIS GIRL! Technically not all of my stuff but at least half of everything I own. Now you might be wondering… why only half your stuff?? The universe can be a wonderful and cruel thing at the same time. Of course the moment my roommates and I all have secure jobs and found a great house to live in is when my boss decides to have me work out of Charlotte with a web development company that is helping us with our website. I understand why I need to be here and how convenient it is when we have questions or issues. It is right here, right now in real time. The only problem is… I was thinking that I would be working out of Mocksville indefinitely which is why it made sense to rent out a house in the Winston Salem area (20 min away from work). Now the biggest task at hand is to work with these web development guys until we get the site all pretty and functional for everyone… which could take forever if you have never dealt with website development before. So many working parts and little things!

Why must you be so cruel universe?? I thought the endless and tireless commute was over!! Now I have to devise a new schedule where I can work in Charlotte and reserve some time to enjoy my house in Winston! I think I have a schedule worked out but a long commute will have to happen at least 2 days out the 5 day work week. Better than driving an hour to and from 5 days a week. BUT STILL. It is just terrible timing but I am not going to let this speed bump on the road of life hinder me from enjoying my next chapter in life!

MIRACLES DO EXIST!

You are probably wondering why is this post yelling at me?? I will tell you! Ladies and Gents… my father who told me time and time again about how moving out was not a good idea is the same man who is now letting me move out! You heard it right! I am MOVING OUT! It has been a long time coming!!! I have never been so excited in my entire life! The whole paying for bills and rent seems a little overwhelming but as OCD and organized my roommates and I have been about everything.. I am sure it will all come together in the end! The house is awesome with 3 bedrooms, 2.5 bathrooms, at least 1900 sq ft. We finally did it! Everyone has a job and we have a roof over our heads! Who would have thought my dad would finally listen to reason?!?! Apparently he does know how to come around and understands why I need this to happen. Miracles do exist people!!

***UPDATE: Of course the universe likes to play cruel freaking jokes! At the end of June I started working from the offices of a web development company that is helping my employer on marketing, website things, etc. Soooo of course when I told my boss that I have been wanting to move to Winston Salem since we made the move in February… I was for sure that I would be working close by to whatever house my roommates and I got. HECK TO THE NO!! He suggests that I am now to continue working in Charlotte (1hr 23 min away from the house in Winston) for who knows how long.. “Until the rug and furniture data is complete….” This could easily be until the end of the year. But the thing is since this company is working so closely with my employer… I will most likely be a main point of contact for data, images, etc. so it only makes sense for me to be in Charlotte vs. Winston Salem.  This little job change would have been handy when I was making a 2 hour round trip commute daily for the past year… The timing is terrible!! So what is a girl to do but to make this work! I have been through worse.

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right??

Stubborn as ever

Dear Dad,

You are being ridiculous and I want you to know that. I can’t think of anything that can possibly please you or meet your standards. All I want to do is move out of the house that I have been residing at for 25 years. Don’t you think that is long enough?? This is not an impulsive move. I have been working my butt off to graduate college, find a job in my field, and etc. Why do you think it has taken me until now to want to move out? Not that you want me to move anyway. My friend Brittany has finally landed a job. Full time! So now that we all have jobs we can proceed with moving in together. Would you rather me move in with a guy?? These are two girls that graduated from Appalachian State with me and we have been friends ever since we met in Boone. I am not moving out of the state. I will only be 1.5 hours away which is not terribly far but far enough for me to have my independence back. I am sorry you can only think of worse case scenarios. I am a very responsible daughter because you want to know why??? I have a clean driving and criminal record, no accidental children, no drug abuse, and the list goes on.

You can’t expect me to stay with you in your house forever. I need a place of my own to do what I want. Not that I am going to be doing anything sketchy or bad. I just want to be able to hang out with friends who I don’t always see, go out at night (no curfew), etc. I have lived by your rules for long enough and have done my fair share of helping with family financials. So I don’t think it is a big deal when I say that I am ready to move out. My roommates and I all have jobs. We are not reckless with money. We all get along and will do our part to make this work.

Can you please keep an open mind and let me do this? If you continue to be negative and refuse to give me your blessing and permission then I have no choice but to defy you. Not because I want to but because you are giving me no other option. You have no legal right to keep me at your house. I can leave at any time but I am not ungrateful or rude like that. I am being more than courteous by informing you of my future plans. Sorry you can’t accept it.

Sincerely,
Your frustrated 25 year old daughter

And the verdict is…

So the goal is to move to Winston Salem, NC now that my job has relocated to the showroom location. See post here.

I figured the daughterly thing to do would be to notify my dad of what was happening this weekend which involved me going to Winston Salem for a friend’s birthday and to start my initial round of house hunting with my two future roommates. I was calm and collected and made sure he knew that I was only LOOKING at houses and NOT signing anything. I even invited him to come house hunting with me and my future roommates but he just didn’t say much after I laid everything out on the table. I swear talking to him is like talking to a brick wall sometimes.

His response to my proposition was that he didn’t think it was a good idea (as I knew he would say) and that if anyone is out of a job then you have to pick up the slack, blah blah blah. What he forgets is that my future roommates and I are college grads and are more than capable of handling ourselves. We are not reckless when it comes to big life decisions like this. We wouldn’t move in together if we didn’t think we could afford it. I mean we have enough common sense to know that.

One of my future roommates has to find a job in the area before we sign anything. My dad just hears what he wants to hear and is not really understanding that I am not making the big move until everyone is financially stable.

My dad then proceeds to tell me about how when he was my age, he was invited to move in with 3 of his friends and how he only heard horror stories and glad that he didn’t go through with it. The guys who ended up moving in together ultimately hated each other because of money issues, cleaning duties, and etc. So they all ended up back at their parents’ houses. Apparently this is what he thinks will happen to me so instead of supporting me, he is dooming my future before it even has a chance to begin.

Everyone loves a good laugh right? So here is the kicker: He tells me that he doesn’t want me to move out until I was ready to get married…. Because the only reason you should move out of your parents house is because you are starting a family of your own…. (Keep in mind my parents are set in their Asian beliefs, more so my dad than my mom) Last time I checked we are living in the 21st century! I am not some prized cow that you hold onto until the right buyer comes along. Like seriously?? I really have no ambition towards marriage. If it happens, great. If not, I am totally okay with that. I am actually becoming more okay with being a spinster/dog lady for the rest of my life.

The thing about my dad is that he will always try to guilt and undermine my intelligence. He has this mind set that he knows all that is right and wrong. I cannot stay where I am forever… my sanity would not allow it. I love my dad but he is so stubborn and has to have everything go his way or no way at all. I can only hope he comes around and isn’t still adamant on preventing me from moving out. I am more than old enough to do so. I have never relied on my parents for money because I am self-sufficient and will always help them with money troubles than the other way around.

He can’t pull the “why didn’t you tell me about moving out?” card because I have told him clearly what my plans are when my roommates and I are ready to make the big move. It is not my fault that he doesn’t want to accept the facts. I have done all I can do.

The biggest sign yet

Attention ladies and gents! Breaking news in the life of Christine! My boss has told me that he plans on moving the current office where we are at to the main showroom! Yes it is still an hour commute each way but it is significantly closer to Winston-Salem, NC! My hometown is Charlotte, NC and I currently live with my parents. I know so many people near the Winston-Salem area and it only makes sense to move there! 20 min away from vs. 1 hour away… you do the math! I believe this is the biggest sign that the universe has given me simply because I have been wanting and needing to move out for some time now and this is the greatest motivator to do so!

I am not terribly far away from my parents but far enough away that I can regain my sanity. I love my parents dearly and I know they mean well but I am 25 years old. Old enough to know right from wrong and definitely old enough to take care of myself. Asian parents worry way too much and aren’t so quick to letting their children leave the nest as most parents are. My dad will need the most convincing. My mom is and always will be on my side so she just advises that I ask for permission (which I will in due time) and not to have him find out about my plans to move after the fact when I am all settled in with my roommates. I have more courtesy than that. I just hope he can see that I am a grown adult ready to start the next chapter of my life.

The ultimate goal is to move into a 3 bedroom house with my friends who I graduated college with and are just as ready to move out as much as I am. Things are finally falling into place! I will be ready to move in once one of my roommates obtains a job in the Winston-Salem/Greensboro area. I am counting down the days when I am finally able to regain my independence and to start this new chapter of life! It has been a long time coming and I am so glad it is finally happening now. I have a great job and what better way than to share it with your best friends?